Guest Blog- Author Patricia Tyson Redmond
My name is Patricia Tyson Redmond…and I wrote a book for you entitled “We the Widows: A Guide to your New Life.”
I was married to the love of my life, Lieutenant Colonel Robert Redmond, for 33 years. We were soul mates who had traveled through life together, sharing the decisions, the burdens, and the joys of life, …raising children, moving from the States to Japan with the Army…and making great plans for our future when we retired. Then my husband got lung cancer, from his exposure to Agent Orange while on duty in Vietnam. He died! And I became a widow.
There were so many practical things in our lives that my husband took care of, things that I had no idea how to manage. I looked for information that would help me become an independent person after the 33-year marriage to my best friend. I couldn’t find much help in the library or online, so I struggled on alone, missing my partner and hoping that I could learn to take care of myself. I have spent the last ten years dealing with these problems and want to share my experiences with you. This book will give you suggestions on how to deal with many things you may face as a grieving widow.
Come …walk with me through the past ten years to learn how you can get through all the trials and tribulations of life as a single woman. How do you become that independent person you need to be to manage your new life? How do you take care of the chores of the day, the home maintenance, the decisions, and still cope with the grief and stress of your loss?
Let me tell you a bit about what you will find in my book. This is my Table of Contents:
Chapter One is the introduction to “We the Widows”. I just expanded on the above, explaining why I wrote this book. Having interviewed many widows, I have also included their comments, ideas and suggestions.
Chapter Two is “New Widow Basics”. This tells you what is necessary immediately after your husband’s death…. the decisions, the legal considerations, planning the funeral, other required actions.
Chapter Three is an important chapter because it deals with the Grief and Stress you may be experiencing, and how you can get help, and how both can lessen with time.
Chapter Four is entitled: “You…on the Right Side of the Grass”. When my husband was dying, he would wake up in the morning and exclaim, “Well, I’m still on the right side of the grass!” Then we would laugh and get on with our day. This is full of suggestions on how you can take care of yourself, your health and other personal issues.
Chapter Five: “Financials…Money Isn’t Funny Anymore” has tips for your financial future, tips on how to watch for scams and frauds and so on. Maybe I should have titled it ”Money isn’t Fun Anymore”?
Chapter Six: “It Doesn’t Take Long to Make Half a Bed”, includes ideas for taking care of your home. It’s all your responsibility now…so there are lots of tips and ideas to make life easier.
Chapter Seven: “Ladies Start Your Engines” …coping with things your husband did. This is an important chapter. I had to learn all these things…and perhaps you will also.
Chapter Eight: “Do you Think It’s a Couples World?” Covers your social life….and some ideas about friends. You may find it interesting as well and it may answer this question.
Chapter Nine was a stretch for me. Entitled “ETC…Electronics plus Technology equals Confusion?” Right? It includes some technological information about today’s toys…that weren’t invented yet when we were younger. My best idea is to ask a young person for help if you get stuck on your computer or have a question about your I-phone.
Chapter Ten: “Apples on a Willow Tree” is full of whimsical favorites of mine. I’m hoping that it’s entertaining and you will just enjoy these one liners, poems and stories….and perhaps give you something to think about…. or even make you laugh!
Chapter Eleven….and you’re finished…is entitled “Memories are Better than Dreams”. Actually, it’s a review of all that I have covered in the last ten chapters, so if you are one who goes to the last chapter first, you can save a lot of time. My husband, who taught at West Point Military Academy, once told me how he did it. He said, “When you are talking to a class, you tell them what you are going to say, you say it, and then you tell them again what you said.” So, it’s sort of like that.
Hopefully this book will show you how to move forward into your new life.
To quote a poem from a headstone in Ireland: “Death leaves a heart ache no one can heal. Love leaves a memory no one can steal.”
Reading my book, you will learn that you are stronger than you ever thought you were, and that you can do things you never dreamed you could. Perhaps it will also make you smile and help guide you to your new life…. which is waiting for you!
Thank you. Patricia Tyson Redmond… (friends call me Pati) … “We the Widows” is available on Amazon.com, or can be ordered at Barnes and Nobel and Christian book stores. You can also get a signed copy from me: WetheWidows@gmail.com